It has been three years of marriage and it hasn’t been anything like I expected it to be at all! Now, that may sound scary, but it isn’t! I think that after seven years of dating, we both thought marriage would just be a completely natural thing for us. That somehow we would just know exactly how to have a perfect marriage without actually working at it! Boy were we wrong! Ha
Now, this isn’t to say things haven’t been great these past few years. It just means it required way more work than we ever thought. I think the common misconception about dating and marriage is that two people are just perfectly compatible and that you have to work to find that person, but once you do, all the work ends there. It just works, it is just natural and easy all the time. If you are single reading this, know that there is no person out there who is going to make marriage just the easiest thing in the world. It doesn’t matter who you are and who they are, you will have to work together and be intentional to make it work.
I know this sounds a little scary, but I actually find great peace in this. I think we all hit a point in our marriages where we think, “why isn’t this easy?’’ Then panic can sink in and we feel like we did something wrong or like we are doomed to being unhappy. This is so not the case! The reality is, all marriages require work and effort. The people with the very best marriages are the ones who are willing to work at it and acknowledge that it isn’t just rainbows and fireworks naturally. We have to create those moments and remind each other how much it is worth the effort!
So how has that looked for us specifically?
Well, if you are new around here, I don’t always share a ton about our marriage, but it has been a little over three years. We started dating when we were sophomores in high school. We spent our college years at different colleges, which I typically look back on and wonder why we put ourselves through that, but we made it through and got married right after I graduated college. No marriage starts with perfect circumstances, but ours started with Brett going into his last two years of medical school. This was a very stressful time, filled with uncertainty but we made it through with a lot of trusting in God’s plan. This last year has been the biggest transition and change. We made a huge move from Michigan to Orlando, Florida and Brett started his job as a pediatric resident. I also went through a big change going from being a high school teacher, to a full time photographer. Often times, big changes like this can hurt a relationship, but I think we would both agree that it has strengthened us. We have had to rely on each other more than ever and really discover what it means for us to be a team.
Now, if you have stuck around this long, don’t worry, this post is quickly coming to an end. I couldn’t possibly only have one blog to explain three years of marriage, but there will be more to this story soon! We are certainly not perfect by any means, but we have learned a lot about each other and about ourselves, and it is my hope that what we have learned can serve as a blessing to others.
Until then, thank you for following along! Also, a huge thank you to my friend Allison for this photo of us at the Magic Kingdom!